Never Be Broken...

Okay, I need to confess a dirty little secret. It's embarassing... and something I hesitate to admit. I love Sex and the City. Yes, the HBO series about four women and their relationships set in New York City. Normally, I believe such programs are damaging to the collective female self-esteem by promoting ideas that women should attain unrealistic, commercially produced physical "beauty" and that they should strive for autonomy while remaining culturally submissive. This conflicting self is what drives many women to obsessive relationships with terrible men, compuslive shopping, eating disorders, and the like (read Appetites: Why Women Want, by Caronline Knapp).
However, I (personally) don't get that feeling from Sex and the City. I actually feel better about myself after watching the show. I feel empowered. Not only does it promote female power, but it suggests you can still be feminine and powerful (i.e. Miranda). It also postulates that a woman can be successful and have a wonderful sex life without yielding to society's pressure to be part of a monogomous 'husband and wife' pair, in which the female partner invariably loses her identity, i.e. Samantha. Even Carrie offers hope to the female sex. Although she has entered into bad relationships and tends to let her feelings about men cloud her judgement, she is on a quest to find herself and her compliment (rather than her master*). The only character I have a difficult time tolerating is Charlotte. She embodies all of the characteristics expected of women that I strive to rebel against. However, I believe that including her character is important because it completes the range of personalities on the show, which reveals the depth and dimensionality possessed by women around the world.
Anyway, I digress. I wanted to reference a specific episode that I recenlty watched - Ex and the City (Series 2, Episode 18). In it, Carrie finds out that her ex (Big) is engaged to a younger woman. She can't understand why Big left her, and why "it wasn't [her]." In the end, she reaches the conclusion that the reason he left her was because he couldn't "break" her... she was too complex for him. The idea sprang from a Sydney Pollack movie starring Barbra Streisand (Katie) and Robert Redford (Hubble) - - "The Way We Were" (1973) - - a love story based on a mismatched couple who can't be together because they're too different. Streisand plays a politically active Jewish woman and Redford a 1-dimensional, WASPY man. It was probably one of the first truly feminist hollywood films of it's time. Not only did the idea help Carrie deal with the lost relationship, but it made her stonger.

Carrie: Your girl is lovely, Hubble.
Big: I don't get it.
Carrie: And you never did.

I love it! This concept embodies many of my relationships. Most 'men' don't "get" me because I refuse to behave in the stereotypical, traditional manner of a western woman. It confuses them and they either think I'm not interested, I'm a bitch, or I'm a lesbian. That's fine. I enjoy my solitude, I have great friends, a wonderful family, and I don't need a partner. That's not to say that someday I won't find my compliment. I just view it as a possibility, instead of manditory.

Never be broken.

* Women, look up "master" in the dictionary. One of the definitions is "husband." Then, look up "husband" in the thesarus... in Merriam-Webster you'll find: Synonyms hubby, lord, man, master, mister, Mr., old man. Please!